I feel like all I do is run these days and I am always behind. There is never enough time in the day, minutes before naptime, space in between feedings, etc. to get everything done. Maybe my expectations about what I should accomplish are to high or the endless list of to dos that make me feel frazzled. It seems like I live in my car already and the boys aren’t in school (Jack is in preschool, does that count?) or activities yet. What will I feel like when I have one in elementary school with activities and the other in junior high with sports practices. I am exhausted thinking about it already.
I know there are things on my list that I choose to put there and don’t need to do, but I just can’t give them up, like making Halloween costumes. I just can’t bring myself to buy their Halloween costumes since I can sew and am creative. I don’t have anything against store bought costumes, but I just can’t do it. My mom made our costumes and I just feel like I need to. Plus that stuff is therapy for me.
In the middle of everything I am still trying to get something in for me, which for right now is going to the gym. I try to make it 3 days a week (if I can’t make a day I try to at least go for a walk at home). That keeps me feeling OK and helps with trying to get the baby weight off.
I have found that there are good and hard things about having the boys four years apart. The nice things are Jack is pretty self-sufficient, he can get himself dressed, is potty trained and will play by himself in his playroom. It is harder because he has activities already, like school and playing with his friends. So we have a schedule that we have to keep and work around. Even with our challenges I am still glad that we have the space between them that we do. I think I would be really going crazy with a 2 year old; I don’t know how my friends with kids 2 years apart do it.
At some point I know that things will settle out. We will get into a routine with the two boys and we will not be heading to Children’s once or twice a week. Maybe then I will work my way through my to do list.