I have been reading The 5 Love Languages of Children. Jim and I read The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts a year ago and I thought it was really enlightening.
The premise behind the books is that we all have a primary language that makes us feel most loved — while the others are important, the primary language is the key. The languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service.
While reading the book I quickly determined Will’s love language, quality time. At his age parents have to determine the child’s language by observing them and seeing what they react to the most. His love language is quality time. He prefers to be with people. He doesn’t necessarily need you to be actively participating with him, but he wants to be near you. He will bring a few toys out of the playroom and play on the floor right outside my office. If I am in the kitchen he is happy in the playroom, because they are right next to each other.
Jack was more difficult to determine. In the end I did the quiz with him, where the child reads statements and circles the one that makes them feel more loved. It turns out he is primarily physical touch with a high score for quality time too. Both make sense — he still reaches out for my hand when we a walking next to each other and he comes for a hug and a kiss before the bus leaves. He loves spending time with us no matter what we are doing — folding laundry, reading stories or building things.
My hope is that understanding the boy’s love languages will help me be a better mother and provide them love that fills their buckets.
What is your child’s love language?
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