In fall of 2016 I started working part time for a friend’s company. It wasn’t something I was planning on, but it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. What started as 10 hours a week moved up to 25 in the beginning of 2017.
Our family was in a good spot to transition into having two working parents. With Jack in middle school he was able to home alone at times. My hours and days are flexible so I am able to put Will on the bus in the morning and get him off the bus in the afternoon. My mom actually went to work outside of home when I was in middle school too.
Since going back to work I have had to learn how to give up on some things that I could or would have done I was home full time. Dinners are now simpler and a bit later. I don’t volunteer at school as much as I did. I also have had to really plan my home days to make sure appointments and errands fall on those days. Jim and the boys have also had to help more to with the everyday and week things, which they all can do.
Generally, I am really hard on myself. I am learning that I don’t need to be all things to all people. It is actually okay to say I just can’t do that or even I don’t want to.
It took me longer to adjust to letting things go, like perfectly planned birthday parties or hosting the perfect dinner party. I had spent so much time working from home that I was able to volunteer at school weekly and be a leader in organizations the boys were involved it. Then I remembered why I had made the decision to work.
I made that choice for me. After my heart attack I realized that I wanted to be very deliberate about the choices I make for myself. I was presented with an amazing opportunity to jump into a job running marketing for a company and work with a person I have loved working with before.
It was also okay for the boys to see that I am making choices to do something that makes me happy even if it meant they needed to become more responsible for themselves. Jim and the boys have wholeheartedly supported me making this decision.
The learning to let go was all about me telling myself it was okay to make choices about the things I wanted and could do and then letting the guilt about giving up things go away.